Hold tight to your golden thread

Hi friends,

What is your golden thread? How will it help to steady you, as you navigate writing your Substack and living your life? 

This piece started as a throw-away comment. I saw a Note by Russell, in which they shared a piece by Jane Friedman.

In it, they highlighted some of the things about writing on Substack which can be tiring - including a constant vigilance around how many subscribers we have, and a false equating of ever-increasing paid subscribers with our ‘moral worth’. One of the things they said in the Note which I like very much is:

“I have always said that money is the byproduct of running a good business, not the reason for it.” 

When I shared Russell’s Note, I added my own thoughts: 

Russell was interested in what I meant by a golden thread [ed. note - what I said was “Ooooh, do you have more things about this golden thread in your archives, because I looove that.”]. Their question gave me pause.

• What did I actually mean?

• Was I describing my own golden thread accurately?

• How does my thread actually help me to keep my footing here, in amongst the hullabaloo of self-promotion and competition and compulsion?    

My image of a golden thread has emerged from at least two texts. The first is a Buddhist poem in our tradition about a ‘golden chain’, which joins everyone together. The first line is:

The second is a poem by William Stafford, below, which encourages us to hold onto the thread that runs throughout our lives: 

I love the ineffable quality of Stafford’s thread. What is he getting at in this poem, though? He is pointing towards something that keeps us steady in spite of the world’s turbulence. For me, the poem points towards a few qualities of this thing-that-keeps-us-safe:

1. 🧵 Everyone’s thread is different, and our definition of our own thread is a deeply personal affair. 

2. 🧵 No-one else can tell us what our thread is, and we have to discover our own thread or threads ourselves - maybe after years or even decades of searching.

3. 🧵 Our thread doesn’t stop bad things from happening to us and to others (old age, sickness, death) but it does offer us something - maybe firm ground under our feet, maybe a charm against becoming overwhelmed or being floored by despair.

4. 🧵 There is poetry to our thread. It has a beauty to it, which is impervious to impermanence in the way that everything else is. The thread endures. 

In my Note, I thought about my golden thread in relation to my writing at Substack. I realized that what keeps me steady isn’t what I hope to receive, but what I want to offer. My particular offering has clarified over my year of writing here. Some recent work with helped me to see that I write because I want to be kinder to myself, and because I want others to receive that gift, too.

When I get caught in needing affirmation or in doubting the quality of my work, I try to return to my golden thread: focus on making your offering as beautiful as you can, and everything else will take care of itself.

I need to set appropriate boundaries. I need to understand what my unique offering is (more about this in my piece next month). I need to be realistic about what is possible, as one fallible human amongst nearly 8 billion other humans. I need to keep an open mind when it comes to guessing at what use my offerings might be. 

These are the core beliefs or hypotheses that I have developed over the past five decades, and they keep me steady. This golden thread is woven into the other threads in my life - the thread of nature, the thread of my Buddhist faith, the threads of my spouse, friends and dogs, the thread of words. 

I still fall down. I still sometimes touch into deep depression, and sometimes I feel that everything is pointless. I have moments of being utterly lost. Usually, though, the threads are right there already crossing my palm. I don’t even need to pick them up, I just need to remember to look for them again.    

• I would love to hear about your golden threads.

• What helps you?

• What’s still difficult?

• What questions do you have?

• What keeps you oriented here at Substack? What helps you to remember your golden thread?

• What helps keep you oriented in life? 

We carry on because we are following our thread, and there is an intrinsic value in that activity. We know that we are following it, even when those around us think we’re crazy. We are mesmerized by its glitter. The thread allows us to see everything in a different light.

Nothing we can do can stop time from unfolding and we will always have our thread. Isn’t it beautiful? 

If you saw value here, I hope you’ll consider becoming a paid member to help foster more of this type of thing. As a member, you’ll get access to over 600 exclusive posts, including books, courses, lessons, lectures, fiction books, and more, or you can give us a one-time tip to show your support.